So not long ago, while still trying to get an understanding of the mindset that could possible think Mustardgate was a serious issue to attack President Obama on, I came to a startling, cold realization.
The talking heads of the GOP are Sally Floyd. If you're not familiar with Sally, I'll explain. Sally Floyd is a Marvel comics character who was notable a few years ago for an incredibly stupid list of complaints against Captain America, presented after the Civil War event. Among those, that he doesn't go to enough Nascar races, watch YouTube and the Simpsons, and doesn't know what Myspace is.
Fans were outraged by the sheer stupidity of it all, as to anyone with half a brain, they realized that those are merely fads - and while they may last a good long time, and may even become a part of our national heritage, they don't encompass what America truly is. And I realize that is the lens through which Republicans view the world.
If you aren't up to date with x, y and z - then you're not doing your part as a true American. If you don't fall into column 1, 2 or 3 - then you're not living as a true American. The biggest problem with all of these things, beyond the fact that its incredibly stupid to hold it up as your litmus test of what qualifies one to be an American, is the fleeting nature of these things.
Lets say right now it's 'cool' to hate on latte drinkers, what about in five years, when the fad flips and everyone, including yourselves, are drinking lattes? Of course the hypocrisy will be lost... if they even change at all.
So I'll say it, just as every sane human being would. The fads, or non-fads, or even choices we make as Americans, does not dictate our status as Americans. Our choice of condiments doesn't dictate our status as Americans. Our choice of clothing doesn't dictate our status as Americans. These things are, and always will be fleeting. 10 years ago, the complaint would probably have been over him ordering a CHEDDAR burger, "What is American cheese not good enough for him?" 10 years from now, the complaint may have been over the fact he ordered it medium well.
There's your problem GOP. You don't actually understand America, and as a result, are forced to try and explain it with the current (or sometimes out-of-date) cultural memes. You don't comprehend America's heart, soul, and promise; And that's why you're currently imploding.